Tahini Coconut Donuts - a devotion to our love of food

The food I eat is hardly ever beautiful. The food I eat is simple, sometimes processed. It’s comfort food by definition; a de facto reason to live. I eat then I work. I snack, then I play with my dog. I never stop to enjoy my meals but I always put the dishes away for my mother.

The food I eat is hardly ever beautiful, with its lumps of gravy and powdered mashed potatoes. Earthen hues on dishwasher-safe plates. I don’t eat like this by choice; I was much healthier in California. It’s the way my parents cooked for us since we were young. Economically, full-flavored, guiltless and large-portioned. My dad has three helpings of spaghetti on Monday, he liked the way my mother made the meatballs this week.

There is no pretension when it comes to eating here, no need for living beyond the means. How fate dealt my parents a handful of aces and the rest were duds, we eat out sometimes and other times eat vegetables that still taste like the aluminum they were canned in. And in the vacuum where pretension and theatre of cooking should be, the void fills with love. A deep love of food, of butter, of mass and quantity and warmth. How shameless my mother is as she eats her birthday cake with a fork before slicing it for anyone else. How wonderful it was to see her smile while doing so. Food in this sense, in the rawest sense of enjoyment—unfettered by diets and fads and fear of its pleasure—is a sense of home I hadn’t realized before moving back.

I see it now. I embrace it now. I eat what my mother cooks and I’ll gladly sneak a bite of her birthday cake when she’s not looking.

I wrote of my dad’s love of food in Snacks Quarterly, and I wanted to create this recipe for them, for their love of food. For their genuine relationship to eating. Omnivorous, shameless, and always asking if I’d had enough to eat before she puts away the leftovers.

Tahini Coconut Donuts

Yields 12 in a standard donut pan

Ingredients for the Donuts

• ¾ cup whole milk
• 1 tablespoon white vinegar
• 2 eggs
• 2 tablespoons shortening, melted
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 2 cup cake flour, sifted
• ¾ cup sugar
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• ½ teaspoon sal

Directions for the Donuts

1. Preheat oven to 415*F and grease your donut pan
2. In measuring glass, whisk together milk, vinegar, eggs, shortening, and vanilla
3. In a large mixing bowl, sift together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt to combine
4. Create a well in the center of the dry ingredients with a wooden spoon. Slowly begin pouring in wet ingredients, mixing slowly
5. Mix until all combines
6. Gently spoon into prepared donut pan (about three-quarters of the way full in eat round)
7. Bake for 8-10 minutes, checking at 7 for browning
8. Turn onto a cooling rack while you prepare the tahini icin

Ingredients for the Tahini and Coconut Topping

• 2 tablespoons tahini
• 1 tablespoon melted butter
• 1 1/2 cups confectioner’s sugar
• 2 tablespoons whole milk or heavy cream
• 1/2 tablespoon orange zest
• 2 cups sweetened shredded coconut (or as much or as little as you prefer!)

Directions for the Tahini and Coconut Topping

1. In a medium-sized bowl, combine tahini butter, and sugar with a fork. Mixture will be lumpy and dry
2. Add milk to wet and smooth out mixture. You may need more, depending on desired consistency. You do not want it too runny that it is more of a glaze on the donuts than the preferred icing
3. Pour coconut onto a plate and spread out slightly
4. To finish donuts: Once donuts are cooled, dip one side into tahini icing and then immediately into the coconut, pressing slightly for coconut to stick. Set aside and repeat for remaining donuts
5. Donuts keep for 2 days in airtight container, but best fres

Blue Cornmeal and Smoked Cheddar Popovers: In Partnership with Bob's Red Mill

It’s now been sixty-eight days sine I last heard a coyote in the backyard. Three years since they were so close you could hear their breath on the windowpane. The coyote tricked me once, hunched and hungry, but I won’t be in California again for a long, long time.

My people aren’t like those on the West Coast; or, at the very least, those I met. There are burn marks on my mother’s arm, cat scratches on the edges of her knuckles. She makes a dollar stretch and my dad drinks his Diet Pepsi on the couch for hours at night. Nursing it, letting the ice melt to a more toothsome bite. The dogs play in the backyard and bark at nothing but the dried grapevines that appear to have died from a disease and not the harsh Northeastern winter that we’re still shaking off. I keep my window open some nights, and the frogs act like a Greek chorus, explaining things in a language I do not know yet, a dialect so deep-rooted in creekbeds and unemployment checks, I’m still getting an ear for it.

I come from families sustained on peasant food. Meat, potatoes, fats when we could get them. I am the apex of generations of farmers and truck drivers, stay-at-home moms and divorcees who never quite got their bearings. My dad said he’s never tried cauliflower, my mother bought produce at the dollar store when we lived in Kentucky. My sister slept in the laundry room then. I shared a room with my brother.

These popovers are a product of my heritage. Where the leavening is from the earth and a little elbow grease to boot. Where the grit of the cornmeal, unbleached and rugged, grinds on the tooth while you daydream of a beach in your land-locked state. Where the fat is light and the oven is hot and the days are shorter than when you were a child. It’s everything and nothing, an illusion of a simple life because I never realized how tough it must have been to feed a family of five while working night shifts at the Walmart in town. I’ll never hear a coyote again out here in Pennsylvania, but I surround myself with like me now. Family, in every sense of the word.

Blue Cornmeal and Smoked Cheddar Popovers

Yields six popovers using proper pan, or roughly 10-14 popovers made with a muffin tin

Ingredients:

• ½ cup Bob's Red Mill blue cornmeal (or yellow, if not available)
• 1 cup AP flour
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 4 eggs, room temperature
• 1 ½ cup whole milk, room temperature
• 3 tablespoons butter, melted
• ½ cup grated smoked chedda

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 450*F and prepare your pan by spraying with oil (I used a traditional non-stick popover pan, but a muffin pan will work, but will not yield the same height)
2. Sift together cornmeal, flour, and salt
3. In a large bowl, whisk eggs and milk together vigorously until yolks are broken up and mixture is foaming
4. Continue whisking slowly, adding your cornmeal mixture slowly into the milk mixture
5. When mixture has the consistency of a thick (albeit lumpy) cream, stir in the butter
6. Allow to rest for 30 minutes
7. When resting is complete, spoon batter into prepared tins, about three-quarters full
8. Top with cheese
9. Bake for 20 minutes on 450*F, then reduce oven to 350*F and bake for an additional 17-20 minutes. During this time do not open the oven door until you have hit the 17-minute mark
10. When popovers have a solid center and the edges are crisp, remove from oven and allow to cool slightly before removing from pan
11. Immediately pierce sides with a knife to allow for steam to escape (this will prevent popovers from deflating)
12. Serve immediately for best tast

Note: I am fortunate enough to be a Bob's Red Mill brand ambassador this year and will be partnering with them more and more throughout the year. While Bob's Red Mill supplied the ingredient, coconut flour, for this post, all opinions are my own. Check out their website for more information on all the amazing products they have to offer!

Strawberry Almond Cake

I still pan for gold in other’s stream of conscious. I still make an effort to read between the punctuation of others, too. Words hang on my tongue, sometimes they crawl out like silverfish. Sometimes they escape, fast and poisonous. They hang in the air, dragonflies stuck in amber. You’ll turn them over in the palm of your hand a million years from now.  

I’m almost coltish when it comes to apologies; but I hardly ever think I’m wrong. I stumble, knock-kneed at the outskirts of empathy. I wait my turn, then play the victim. It’s worked this way for a few years now, but I’m giving up the plan these days. I’m saying sorry more, I’m hurting others less frequently. I take my time now and think of the electrons that must be passing between us when words come in asthmatic pulses. How finite the electricity is, but how it won’t run out anytime soon.

I’m more grown up now than I thought I would be in the two months since I’ve been back home. I still have a teddy bear on a chair by my closet. I still have a thousand love notes left in me. I still have an old receipt from a turnpike when I thought I’d run away tucked in my wallet. I still keep track of the cigarettes I hide in my glove compartment when I think quitting is for losers. I’ve forgotten to water the flowers by my bed again, but I’m too busy drinking my fourth cup of coffee to notice.

Strawberry Almond Cake

Yields one 6-inch cake, can top with creme fraiche or whipped cream.

Ingredients:

• 3 large eggs, separated
• 1 cup almond meal, as fine as you can get it (I used Bob’s Red Mill)
• ¾ cup AP flour
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• ½ teaspoon almond extract
• 1 ¼ cup white sugar
• 1 tablespoon orange juice
• ¼ cup strawberry jam
• ½ cup whole milk
• 3 large strawberries, hulled and chopped

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350*F and prepare a 6” cake pan with parchment paper and butter
2. In a bowl, sift together almond meal and flour. Set aside
3. Using a stand mixer, fitted with a whisk attachment, whip egg whites until stiff peaks form, set aside
4. Switch out the whisk attachment and replace with the paddle attachment. On medium-high, mix yolks with sugar, vanilla and almond extract. Beat until light and fluffy (ribbons will not form properly, as the sugar ratio is too high)
5. Turn mixer speed to medium-low and add juice, jam, and milk. Continue mixing until well-incorporated
6. Add flour mixture, a half cup at a time, until all flour is mixed into batter
7. Turn mixer off and, using a rubber spatula, spoon in a small amount of beaten whites into the batter. This will lighten the batter. When first spoonful of egg whites are incorporated, mix in remainder, folding gently so as not to deflate
8. Pour in strawberries. Fold twice to mix in
9. Pour into prepared pan and bake for 30-35 minutes, but begin checking at the 25 minute mark for browning. Tent foil over cake if too much browning occurs
10. Cake will be done when a toothpick comes out clean (the meringue component of this may cause middle to not set as timely as the outer part, be congnizant of this). Berries may cause pockets and dents in cake when cooking, but it will be gorgeous nonetheless
11. Allow to cool completely before taking out of pan and top with crème fraiche and a small amount of honey or suga

Orange Ginger Shortbread Cookies

The days are slowly creeping longer and I’m tired by seven. I’m working harder, longer hours. I drove something like 450 miles this weekend, and I’m glad I spent the money on toll roads, parking garages, bottles of wine, and cups of coffee. I’m making my own memories now. I’m paying off bills. I ate bologna sandwiches with my parents the night I came home and we sat and talked for an hour. My dad, with the TV turned loud, and my mom, with her wool socks and iPad on her lap. She checks for deals online and he checks the death toll in a five-car pile-up outside of Pittsburgh.

I don’t fear I’ll be here forever, but I’m taking my time here while I can. I made them cookies before I left, the smallest gesture to say thank you that I could muster. They’re orange and ginger shortbreads. The whole batch was gone by Monday. They were made with love and only the crumbs remain on the cellophane, now crumbled up in the trashbin by the sink.

Orange Ginger Shortbread Cookies

Yields 12-14 cookies, depending on shapes used

Ingredients:

• 1 ¾ cup flour
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• 6 tablespoons butter, room temperature
• ½ cup white sugar, plus more for sprinkling
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 ½ tablespoon orange zest, plus more for sprinkling
• 1 tablespoon grated ginger
• 1 tablespoon orange juice

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350*F and line a cookie sheet with parchment paper or oil to prepare
2. In a medium bowl, sift flour and salt together
3. Mix butter and sugar in stand mixer, fitted with a paddle attachment, until it is well incorporated but still pretty firm
4. Add vanilla, orange zest, ginger, and juice
5. With mixer on a low speed (or, if you prefer to use a wooden spoon, that is perfectly fine), add flour mixture until dough begins to come together
6. It will be fairly dry but should hold its shape
7. Dump onto a floured work surface and pat into a disc
8. Wrap in plastic wrap and chill for 30 minutes in refrigerator
9. Roll out onto a dusted work surface and cut into shapes that are about 1/3 inch in thickness
10. Sprinkle with sugar and orange zest
11. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until brown and crisp around the edges

Happy 70th Anniversary, Nordic Ware!

She remained for so long a fragment of eyelash wishes and the dimpled smiles of her grandchildren. She would have fourteen now, if I’m not mistaken. I’ve never met her, only spoke about her a handful of times. We keep silent about her. She’s been gone since 1985.

Anniversaries are hard to come by in my family; people just don’t stick around long enough to have many of them.  My grandfather who went by Eugene only celebrated 22 years with his wife before he lost her. Half that time was spent on the road, the other half was spent drinking in the garage behind the house, avoiding diapers and tantrums and the bills changing colors. Anniversaries were hard to come by then, too. Sometimes they celebrated in September, sometimes when the tax check came in. Sometimes that money went to school clothes for their six kids. Sometimes it went to get rich quick ideas: investments in land, oil, a no-good brother down the road.

We don’t have a lot of photos of her, of anyone really. I know there’s a photo of her sitting on a step and she’s smiling and she’s beautiful. There’s a photo of my grandfather in a white shirt, sleeves rolled up, drinking a soda in that same album. Photos of me, top lip stained red with juice, are tucked in those pages, too. My mother said she would have liked me if she had met me. I wonder about it sometimes, too.

We do have a few things, artifacts of a time when my grandfather felt whole and my mother still felt like a child. A ring my sister wears on her index finger, the patina of a cheaper metal shining, dappled, in the sunlight once in a while.  An unfinished quilt that sits in a hope chest in my parents’ room. A cast iron skillet that’s more for decoration than for cooking. And a cake pan. Light and slightly dented, it sits on a shelf in the back of the house called the mudroom. We use it once a year, maybe at Christmas, maybe at the Fourth of July. But it’s there when we need it, unquestioningly so. I look forward to the cake, to the memories we made with it. How it is one of the last relics of a woman I never met. How she bought this pan and fed six kids on a budget with it. And now I bake with it, too. It’s a Nordic Ware Bundt pan, one of the classic designs.

I was fortunate enough to celebrate their 70th anniversary with them. And I can’t stop wondering if that fragment of a grandmother named Norma, bought her own bundt pan for some celebration, too. But in that celebration, I roasted some cherries and mixed my batter. A vanilla bundt cake with goat cheese icing, baked in a crown-shaped pan. Fit for a king, or a baker in Pennsylvania, or a mother of six in rural Indiana.

Vanilla Bundt with Roasted Cherries and Goat Cheese Icing

A cake this could needs to be in the shape of a crown. Celebrating Nordic Ware's 70th Anniversary, this cake is light but filling with its cherry and goat cheese accents. Yields one Bundt.

Ingredients for the Vanilla Bundt Cake:

• 1 tablespoon. vanilla extract
• 1 cup buttermilk, half ‘n half, or whole milk
• 1 and ½ teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• ½ cup shortening, room temperature
• 1 stick butter, room temperature + more for pan
• 1 and 1/2 cups white sugar
• 4 eggs
• 2 and 3/4 cups AP flour + more for pan

Directions for Vanilla Bundt Cake:

1. Preheat oven to 325*F
2. Butter and flour your bundt pan
3. In a medium bowl, sift together baking powder, salt, and flour
4. In a measuring cup or small bowl, whisk together milk and vanilla
5. In the bowl of a stand mixer, fitted with a paddle attachment, beat fats and sugar on medium-high until light and ribbony
6. Gradually add one egg at a time until incorporated
7. Reduce speed of mixer and alternate between adding flour mixture and milk mixture, a third at a time
8. Mixture will appear lumpy and perhaps very dry, but when constantly stirred, the batter will come together
9. Gently pour batter into prepared bundt and bake for 55 minutes to one hour
10. Cake will be done when a toothpick comes out clean when inserted into bundt
11. Allow to cool while continuing with recipe

Ingredients for Roasted Cherries:

• 1 quart frozen or fresh cherries
• 2 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 ½ tablespoon balsamic vinegar
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 tablespoon honey
• 2 tablespoon brown sugar

Directions for Roasted Cherries:

1. Preheat oven to 425*F and prepare a half sheet pan with parchment paper
2. In a large mixing bowl, stir all ingredients together, ensuring all berries are coated in sugars, oil, and vinegar
3. Pour onto prepared sheet and roast for 20-25 minutes, or until caramelized and juices are running from cherries
4. Remove from oven and allow to cool before spooning into center of bundt

Ingredients for Goat Cheese Icing:

• 2 ounces goat cheese, room temperature
• 2 ounces cream cheese, room temperature
• 2 teaspoon vanilla
• 2-3 cups confectioner’s sugar
• 3-4 tablespoons whole milk or cream
• A pinch of salt

Directions for Goat Cheese Icing:

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, fitted with a whisk attachment, beat goat and cream cheeses together on medium-high until light, fluffy, and well-incorporated
2. With mixer still running, beat in vanilla
3. Add confectioner’s sugar, one half cup at a time, until icing starts to come together
4. To thin out consistency, add milk
5. Add a pinch of salt to taste and ice on bundt immediately

A special thanks to Nordic Ware for sponsoring this post. Nordic Ware has been producing quality kitchenware products in their 70 years and are now one of America's most beloved and iconic brands. I am honored to be celebrating their 70 years in business and especially excited at using their commemorative gold crown bundt pan for many years to come. For more information or products, check out their website!