Wake up and set the coffee, scoop it out slowly, making sure to not spill the grounds. The pot always fills with steam before it fills with coffee, because the glass is cold. The whole apartment is cold and I wear wool socks to bed, the fabric two-toned grey and black. It was 23 degrees one day and I called my dad, saying winter makes me miss home. He told me my mother was asleep, I can call back when she wakes up.

I feel a change coming, I’m making those changes happen. New projects, new adventures. I can feel it in the air. The equinox is a couple weeks away, but I already feel some pull, some shift in myself that is both tidal and lunar to create. To make new friendships, to start new conversations and open up dialogue that somehow tapered off where I lost interest in caring about others. I’m working on a new website, a new logo, a new sense of direction for myself. I holed myself up in February, I didn’t know I could bruise my ribs from coughing so much. I wore the same flannel shirt three days in a row and had cowlicks that would never seem to settle. One week, I racked up four dollars in library late fees because I was too afraid to leave my apartment. But I see a shift now, I see a way to create again.

I spent one morning in pajamas–black long johns and wool socks. I looked up simple recipes, base guides and blank canvasses. I wanted to create my own brand of magic, find a way to call this place home. I thought being active would settle my bruised lung, keep my mind off of the bitter cold that leaked in through the window seam. I stumbled upon A Daily Something’s post on the Hedgehog Cake. I added a couple things, but kept it simple and warm. Like waking up in white sheets, like watching the cream swirl into infinitesimal little knots into your favorite mug. Like walking into your apartment, taking off your scarf, and collapsing on your bed. Everything feels familiar by the second month in my new place.

Lavender-Lemon Cake

makes one 8-inch cake

Ingredients:

1/2 cup sugar
2 TB clover honey
1/2 cup butter, softened
3 eggs
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
Juice and zest of half a lemon (more zest if you’re feeling frisky)
1 /4 cups self-rising flour (read Joy the Baker’s flour guide, if you don’t have self-rising flour on hand)
3 TB confectioner’s sugar
1/8 tsp dried lavender

Directions:

Prepare cake pan with butter and parchment paper.
Preheat oven to 350
Cream together sugar, honey, and butter in a stand mixer. Alternatively, mix with wooden spoon or with hand mixer
Add eggs, one at a time, stirring between each to ensure a smooth batter. Add vanilla, lemon juice, and zest
Continue to stir, adding flour a little at a time until a thick batter forms–it will be nearly dough-like
Scrape into prepared pan
Bake for 30-35 minutes
Allow to cool
Sift confectioner’s sugar onto cake and sprinkle on dried lavender and serve