Le matin perdue

I've been waking up earlier than I've had to.  Hours earlier, days earlier.  I anticipate rain when I wake up, my body sticky against the sheets.  I keep my eyes half-closed, turning slowly when I need to move.  I don't want to wake Milo, sleep is precious to him and he's grown since I fell asleep last.

The hardest thing to do is wake up sometimes, to know my body is no less mine than when I went to sleep.  That I still sleep on the right side of the bed, even though no one is there to share the left with me.  A tree branch hit my window last night and it was the most intimate sound in the world, steady beats, rhythmic to my own pulse.  I am. I am. I am.

I got lost this morning and I sleep in a queen-sized bed.  I tucked myself so deep into the quilt, I dreamt I would never be able to find my way out.  I dreamt a lot of things last night--cardinals on my mother's shoulder, dogs that howl at the moon, a primal magnetism that tidal waves and scarab beetles still follow.  I dreamt of hairy knuckles and loose-fitting shirts.  I dreamed of sand and could feel the grit in my teeth.  I dreamt of a lot of things last night, I got lost in the morning.

So I put on my glasses and stretched my arms.  I poured some coffee and made some scones.  I opened one window for Milo to smell the air.  I sat by myself for hours and stacked cookbooks all around me.  I lost myself this morning, but found myself in Seattle, deep in the pages of Renee Erickson's A Boat, A Whale, and a Walrus.

Grapefruit Cream Scones with Rosemary White Chocolate Ganache (adapted from Renee Erickson's Boat Street Cream Scones; serves 12)

Ingredients for the Scones

  • 4 cups flour
  • 1/4 cup white sugar
  • 1/3 cup brown sugar
  • 2 tablespoon baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 3 tablespoon grapefruit zest
  • 2 tablespoon grapefruit juice
  • 1 tablespoon clover honey
  • 2 1/4 cup heavy cream
  • raw sugar, for dusting
  • egg white, for wash

Ingredients for the Ganache (adapted from Molly Yeh here):

  • 4 ounces white chocolate, roughly chopped
  • 1 teaspoon rosemary, roughly chopped
  • 1/4 cup heavy cream


Directions for the Scones:

  1. Preheat oven to 400 and line a baking sheet with parchment paper
  2. In a large bowl, sift flour, sugars, baking powder, and salt.
  3. Add extract, zest, juice, and honey, stirring to combine with a large fork or wooden spoon
  4. Create a well in center of flour mixture and slowly begin to pour in cream.  While you are pouring, continuously stir until just combined.  (Depending on altitude and climate, and age of flour, you may have to add more cream to combine)
  5. Turn out onto floured work surface (preferably marble) and turn and pat dough until starts to take form
  6. Cut into half, pat out two disks that are about 6 inches wide and one inch tall.  Cut into 6 or 8 equal pieces, each, and transfer to prepared parchment-lined pan
  7. Bake for 18-21 minutes, or until puffed and golden.  Allow to cool before adding ganache.

Directions for the Ganache:

  1. Place white chocolate and rosemary in heatproof bowl, set aside
  2. In a saucepan, heat cream on medium until begins to bowl
  3. Pour over chocolate and stir very quickly until combined and smooth
  4. Pour atop scones.  Enjoy!