I moved back to California this week and it has been an exhausting time. I chased the sunlight and forgot what timezone I was in. I denied myself sleep and sat in silence, listening to Nolan sing to the radio under his breath. We talked a lot about nothing. We took Milo with us. I'll speak more about this all in time, because, between packing, concerts, and Los Angeles this week, time is something I'm lacking right now.

I realized it's been a week or two since I posted a recipe and I wanted to get the last of the recipes of my life in San Antonio out. To start new, to start fresh. I have two recipes lined up for next week that I am excited to try, both inspired by dates I've taken with Nolan since my return to California. A celebration, a commemoration, and apology.

But for now, enjoy the last thing I baked in my little studio kitchen--Dorie Greenspan's Custardy Apple Squares, sliced with a pocket knife my uncle got in the army. Even when apples remind me of home, they don't remind me of the home I came from. They remind me of Pennsylvania, teenage dreams of France, and not the white-walled silence of that small apartment in San Antonio that I loved so much.

Dorie Greenspan's Custardy Apple Squares (via Food52)

Ingredients

3 medium apples (juicy, sweet)
1/2 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 eggs
1/3 cup granulated sugar
Pinch of fine sea salt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
6 tablespoons whole milk
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled (but still liquid)

Directions

Heat the oven to 400° F. Butter an 8-inch square baking pan and line the bottom with parchment paper.
Peel the apples. If you have a mandoline, slice the apples thinly, turning when you reach the core. (The slices should be thin but not transparent.) If you don't have a mandoline, simply core and slice as thinly as you manage. (Don't worry about the slices being impossibly precise or thin.)
In a bowl, whisk together the flour and baking powder.
In a large bowl, whisk together the eggs, sugar, and salt for a couple of minutes, or until the sugar dissolves and the eggs become pale. Whisk in the vanilla, then the milk and the melted butter. Add the flour and whisk until smooth. With a spatula, gently fold in the apples until each slice is coated. Scrape the batter into the pan and roughly even out the top.
Bake the cake for 40 to 50 minutes or until golden and uniformly puffed. A skewer in the middle will come out clean. Transfer to a rack to cool, then slice and dust with the optional confectioners' sugar.
I highly recommend eating this with a topping made of freshly-whipped cream, a small amount of almond butter, and a pinch of cinnamon