I add too much milk to my coffee, but it keeps me warm. I fall back asleep while I wait for it to cool a bit; I wake up and it's ice-cold. My mother got me an electric blanket for my birthday, I opened it after Paris. I fixed it on my bed this week but I don't think it gets warm enough. I still wear a ripped up cardigan to sleep in, its sleeves hanging loosely around my stomach and I hold myself to sleep.

It's always like this when you stay long enough in Pennsylvania to experience its winter. It's one you feel in your body rather than through your environments. A part of your mind you forget about for the other three-quarters of the year. As unexplainable as the starbursts that flash in your cornea when you rub the sleep away. It's there, but only for a second, and only so deep down in your instincts you can't remember if you dreamed it or not. That's winter in Pennsylvania, a period of ups-and-downs and a lot of feeling involved.

So sometimes you have to combat it, the cold that's inside and out. I keep the oven on, heat the house up. This recipe started as a simple cookie and grew to what it is today: Cookies and Cream Cinnamon Rolls. And with the help of Vermont Creamery's rich, full-flavored products, it didn't just enhance the flavors and quality, but also the experience of baking itself. Recipe is below.

Cookies and Cream Cinnamon Rolls

This is my favorite dough recipe to use (adapted from here), as it is so forgiving but light and airy. You can stop at Step 17 and refrigerate overnight if you want to bake these off in the morning. Further, this recipe has twice as much cookie dough than what you will need for the rolls, but I included it for just some extra cookies to have on hand!

Ingredients for Cookie Dough and Cookies:

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon flaked sea salt
1 ½ cup dark brown sugar
8 tablespoons of room temperature butter (I used Vermont Creamery’s cultured butter for a little bit of an edge to these cookies)
2 tablespoons vegetable shortening, softened
2 eggs
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
8 ounces roughly chopped quality chocolate, like Ghirardelli’s

Ingredients for Cinnamon Rolls:

1 cup half ‘n half
¼ cup + 1 tablespoon white sugar, divided
1¼ cup dark brown sugar + a little more for sprinkling
½ stick of unsalted butter, cut into cubes
1 ½ teaspoon salt
1 cup water, warm to the touch
5 teaspoons active dry yeast
2 eggs
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
5-6 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for work surface
8 ounces roughly chopped chocolate
Half of your cookie dough (reserved from above recipe)

Ingredients for Crème Fraîche Icing and Assembly:

8 oz Vermont Creamery's crème fraîche
1 cup confectioner’s sugar
¼ cup powdered milk
½ tablespoon pure vanilla extract
Pinch of sea salt

Directions for Cookie Dough and Cookies:

Preheat oven to 375*F and prepare a baking sheet with parchment paper
In a mixing bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, and salt
In the bowl of a stand mixer, fitted with a paddle attachment, cream together sugar, shortening, and butter until light
Add eggs, one at a time, then vanilla
With mixer on low (or use a wooden spoon), slowly add flour mixture into butter mixture until a dough begins to form
Using floured hands, knead cookie dough to come together
Add chocolate and knead a couple times more
Now, divide dough in half: one half goes into plastic wrap and will be used for the cinnamon rolls, the other half can be baked now
Using your hands, roll dough into 2 tablespoon balls and space them out a bit on your prepared sheet. Repeat with remaining dough; you should have 12 to 15 cookies
Bake for 12 minutes, remove, and allow to cool

Directions for Cinnamon Rolls:

In a small saucepan, combine half ‘n half, ¼ brown sugar, ¼ cup of white sugar, butter, and 1 teaspoon salt
Stir and heat on medium until butter is melted, remove and allow to cool
While mixture is cooling, combine water, yeast, and remaining sugar and salt in the bowl of a stand mixer, fitted with a paddle attachment
Allow to stand for five minutes or until yeast begins to foam
Now, turn mixer on its lowest speed and add eggs, one at a time, and vanilla
Keep mixer on and begin to gradually add flour, one cup at a time, wetting intermittently with your half ‘n half mixture
When you have a wet, sticky dough, turn mixer off and change to the dough hook attachment
Turn mixer on medium and allow to knead for a good five minutes or until dough pulls away from sides of your bowl (add a little flour at the beginning if dough is extremely sticky)
Once dough begins to pull away from the sides of your bowl, turn out onto a floured work surface and knead by hand five or six times
Shape into a ball and allow to rest in an oiled bowl, covered with a tea towel, for one hour
When dough is done resting, it should be double in size
Turn back out onto your work surface and punch down, divide into two, putting one half aside
Now, roll your dough half into a rectangle that is roughly 12” by 9”
Sprinkle with ½ a cup of brown sugar, 3 ounces of chocolate, and half of your remaining cookie dough
Take one edge of your dough and roll into itself, tucking the corners as you go, jelly-roll style
Slice into 9-12 rolls. Place these in a parchment-lined cake pan or greased skillet (any baking vessel works here, really) and cover with a tea towel to rise for 30 minutes
Repeat with remaining dough, sugar, 3 ounces chocolate, and cookie dough
While rolls are resting, preheat oven to 350*F
When resting period is complete, top with remaining chocolate and a sprinkle of brown sugar, bake for 35 minutes or until golden brown and puffed. Depending on your oven, you may want to rotate your pans at the 20 minute mark
Remove from oven, allow to cool slightly before topping with your crème fraîche icing

Directions for Icing and Assembly:

In a mixing cup, whisk all ingredients together, add a little milk to the mixture if you find it is not pourable enough to your liking
Pour immediately over warmed cinnamon rolls, then top with a few crumbled cookies!

This post was inspired by Vermont Creamery, who excel at making quality dairy products. In this recipe I used their cultured butter (which I had previously used here and here) and their crème fraîche, which if a thick, cultured cream that will add depth and flavor to any recipe as a substitute for sour cream (but is way more flavorful than sour cream!). Check out their website, Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter for more information. Thank you!

I grew up eating generic cereal and milk past the expiration date. I grew up with toys from the same dollar store we hid in during a tornado warning. We had a Jeep that blew fumes into the ozone that ran down the line--it was my mom's car, then my brother's, my sister's. It stopped running the month I got my license. I took my sister's old Pontiac she bought for $500 from a Mennonite family down the road.

I swam in old flannel shirts and used to wear a belt with my sweatpants in kindergarten. One birthday I got a compass, another a letter from my mother telling me how much she loved me. She decorated the margins with small daisies she used to doodle for me. I wore glasses from Wal-Mart, thirteen dollars a pair, when I couldn't make out the words on the chalkboard. It stressed me out so much I developed an ulcer.

We lived economically when I was younger, my dad worked the night shift most years. He'd sleep during the day and we would play by ourselves in the summer. There were piles of bricks in our backyard in Kentucky. Nails, too. My brother stepped on one when he was thirteen and it bled through his sock. He never told my dad at the time, he didn't want to wake him up. My brother still has the scar and I think of his eldest-son stoicism as he wiped the blood off the linoleum kitchen floor and held the heel until the bleeding stopped.

My dad only woke up for water in the summer. He had to be back to work by eight, right after dinner. When my mother watched us on the weekends, we'd sit in our pajamas and she'd tell us about her day. Emotional, lovable, and laughing, that's how my mom would tell stories. She never made us feel poor, she would only ever make us feel important, engaged, part of her small world of three children and a nine to five at a grocery warehouse outside of Lexington, Kentucky.

And in those days when things were tight, just like all the Midwestern women before her, she'd get creative with food. Nothing could go to waste, we couldn't afford that luxury of a full trash can and an empty fridge. Leftover chicken was soup the next day, same with the pot roast from last week. We'd have breakfast for dinner when the eggs were going bad and I remember once eating rice with sugar and milk as a dessert. If she bought fruit for our paper bag lunches, they'd find their way into other manifestations. Cherries on vanilla yogurt. Small-batch grape jam. And the banana that browned on the kitchen counter all week from the hot Kentucky sun would soon be smashed down into banana bread. It became so common in our house, my sister would ask for it instead of a birthday cake.

The homespun aroma of the quick bread would fill our home and I can still feel the heat coming off the cast iron loaf pan when I'd pinch crumbs from the cracked top to taste it. I still remember how much love was in that little ranch house where my sister's room had the washer and dryer in it. I still remember what my mom wrote in her note to me when she couldn't afford a present for my birthday. "Brett, you're the one good thing I've ever done. I miss you every day. In my heart and on my mind, I love you."

Banana Bread Cinnamon Rolls

Because it's never good to let things go to waste and if you're like me, you probably have a few bananas you promise you'll eat before they brown. These cinnamon rolls are light, chewy and delicate with an amazingly yeasty taste. It's a taste of home you can have anytime. Makes 16-18.

Ingredients for Dough:

1 cup whole milk
1/2 cup brown sugar, dark
1 1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup water, heated to 105*F
2 packets of active dry yeast (highly prefer Red Star Platinum Superior Baking Yeast for this recipe)
1 teaspoon white sugar
2 eggs
5-6 cup all-purpose flour, sifted into a large bowl
1/2 stick butter, melted

Directions for Dough:

In a small saucepan, heat milk, brown sugar, and salt together on medium-high heat. Stir occasionally until brown sugar and salt are dissolved (brown sugar may still have some flecks, this is okay). Continue cooking until small bubbles form around the edge. Remove from heat and allow to cool.
While this is cooking, pour hot water, white sugar, and 2 packets of yeast in the bowl of a stand mixer, fitted with the paddle attachment. Allow to sit for 8-10 minutes until it begins to foam from proofing (more noticeable with a higher-quality yeast, such as Red Star's).
Beat eggs one at a time into the yeast mixture on medium speed, allowing the first egg to be fully incorporated before the second.
Next, with the mixture still running, slowly pour cooled milk mixture into the stand mixture.
Switch from a paddle attachment to a dough hook (keep in mind that this can all be done by hand with a wooden spoon, but may take longer and may not produce a lighter end product)
Begin pouring flour into mixer slowly, one cup at a time. Between each cup, wet dough with melted butter. You may not need the full six cups, but dough will be ready when it no longer sticks to the side of the bowl and forms around hook.
Turn out onto a floured work surface and fold in on itself 4 times. Turn into a lightly greased bowl and cover with a towel. Allow to rise for one hour. While waiting, move onto the filling

Ingredients for Filling:

7 browned bananas, mashed into a paste
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons honey
1/2 cup confectioner's sugar
2 teaspoons cinnamon

Directions for Filling:

Place all ingredients in a bowl and stir together until fully incorporated
Cover with plastic wrap and allow to sit in fridge while rolling out cinnamon rolls

Ingredients for Icing and Topping:

1/4 cup cream cheese, softened
2 tablespoons butter, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 cups confectioner's sugar
1 tablespoon milk
1/2 cup walnuts, chopped or crushed

Assembly and Directions for Icing:

When dough is finished resting, punch down and turn back out onto floured work surface
Cut in half and place one half to the side
Roll out other half into a 12"x9" rectangle
Using a rubber spatula, spoon half of the banana filling onto the dough
Roll the dough onto itself, lengthwise and tuck edge underneath the log
Using floss, twine, or a careful and sharp knife, cup one-inch rounds from dough
Place onto a cookie sheet to rest
Repeat with other half of dough with remaining banana filling
Cover rolls with a towel and rest for 45 minutes
In the meantime, preheat oven to 350*F
When finished resting, place in oven (either use cookie sheet, or transfer rolls to pans like I did in the photos) and bake for 35-40 minutes, or until golden (begin checking at the 35 minute mark)
While baking, make icing by beating cream cheese, butter, and vanilla together. Add one cup of confectioner's sugar at a time. If icing is too crumbly, add a little bit of milk to wet it. Continue alternating between cups of confectioner's sugar and milk until you have the consistency of the icing you like (pourable, but not dripping)
Take rolls out of oven, allow to cool slightly, and top with icing and walnuts. Enjoy!

This post was sponsored by my friends over at Red Star Yeast, which is a company I have grown up with and loved ever since I began baking. All opinions are my own, as I consider the Platinum line of yeast to be a superior choice for the recipe provided. See more wonderful baked goods on their Twitter, their Instagram, or just their website!