How I Spent Superbowl Sunday: Golden Pistachio Oreos

It's no secret that I'm still learning. It's no secret that it's been a jagged line to get to where I am today. I called my mother yesterday, I said we need to bake more. She said, "Absolutely" then changed the subject. It's no secret that there is more silence than I'd like but it's not really a secret why that is, either.

I keep thinking about memories. Not remembering things in the actual sense, the active sense, but the intangible nouns that occupy my time. How hard we try to recreate the past. And it's no secret that it's the hardest thing to do. And still we try. Like when my sister wanted to go to New York for Christmas and how we watched a movie we both liked when I was 9 and she was 13. And it all felt like pebbles to me, worn down and soft to the touch. Idly, we skipped them for a month or two and counted the times they skidded across the surface and felt happy for the moment. It wasn't until later when the pond looked expansive and deep and it wasn't worth the effort to remember the years between us from 9 and 13 to 26 and 30.

And it's no secret I've grown up. Especially the last few years. Especially with Nolan. Especially in California. Especially now, in this moment, with dogs and chickens and a fiance relying on me. And this weekend we watched the Super Bowl and I read when I was bored. And we got some takeout, like we did the last time we watched the game together in 2011. And we took a nap, like the last time we watched the game together in 2011. And we laughed at the commercials and we cuddled the dogs and we did the dishes and I made cookies to keep busy. And it was then I realized that it wasn't recreating all the things that made us smile, the intangible things that felt so comfortable in the moment we created them, but memories are things to improve upon. To adjust to the new lives we have. To be grateful for the handful of pebbles still in my pocket and to look at them all with possibility. And it's no secret I've fucked up at doing this for years and years and years, but it's different now and I'm not so sad to talk about old memories anymore.

Ingredients for the Cookies:

• 10 TB unsalted butter, softened
• 2 TB shortening
• 1/4 cup white sugar
• 1/3 cup light brown sugar
• 2 TB honey
• 1 egg + 1 yolk
• 1/2 TB vanilla extract
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups AP flour
• 2 TB ground pistachios

Ingredients for Filling:

• 1/8 cup shortening
• 2 TB unsalted butter, softened
• 1/4 TB vanilla extract
• 1/2 TB milk powder
• Pinch of salt
• 1-2 TB whole milk or heavy cream

Directions:

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream together butter, shortening, sugars, and honey until light and fluffy
2. Add egg and yolk with mixer on low until fully incorporated. Add vanilla
3. With mixer on low, add dry ingredients. When just mixed, complete mixing with a rubber spatula and fold in pistachios
4. Turn out onto a floured work surface and shape into a disc
5. Refrigerate for at least half an hour
6. While dough is resting, prepare a cookie sheet with parchment paper and preheat oven to 350*F
7. When dough is done resting, turn back out onto your work surface and roll disc to about 1/3 inch thick
8. Cut out 2-inch rounds and place on baking sheet
9. Bake for 15 minutes or until edges are browned
10. Allow to cool
11. While cookies are cooling, whip together your shortening, butter, vanilla, and milk powder
12. With mixer on low, add your confectioner's sugar slowly
13. Add milk and salt to desired taste and consistency
14. Transfer to piping bag and pipe onto top of one cookie
15. Place second cookie on top to make a sandwich
16. Repeat with remaining cookies

The Farm's First Christmas!

It's really beginning to feel like the holidays for me now. It never did before. In college, I felt that being home was a burden, a hazy one that either ended with me moping in my room, or texting my college friends with small details of how "annoying" my family was. In California, as I've talked about before, it never felt like Christmas, wearing shorts and driving the interstate to find fast food restaurants that would stay open for us. Or, some years, we split the burden--one of us would stay with the dogs while the other spent Christmas with family back in Pennsylvania. Lonely is all I remember for three years then.

I didn't keep up with the traditions; I never bothered to try. Maybe it was too painful, or maybe I just didn't really care that much. Those in-between years of settling and resettling, in rented houses and backyards that were too small, I never thought I had anything to celebrate. And, as always, I was wrong. And, as always, I'm learning.

We moved into our house just after the holidays last year, so this is the first time we're really experiencing it all. The tree, the fir, the snow-packed dog paws that melt on the hardwood floors. Old ornaments from second-hand stores and our mothers' attics. Wooden ones, broken ones, ones that hang on paperclips instead of hooks. Things we've never done before, experiences that I've been wanting to create.

And it was good. Rushed, but good. Haphazard, but good, to look back at a year of questions and answers and understand that sometimes the most fun we're going to have in a week is doing the mindless, repetitive tasks that we used to hate as kids.

And the same goes for cookies. It used to be a tradition, one that I seemed to forget about until I'm hungry for something sweet. But this year, as I shared with Modern Farmer, it's turned into something I love doing. Decorating, baking, cutting shapes and dipping them in coffee. I can't wait to give them out as gifts this year. And below this recipe is a special surprise for your pup as well!

Iced Sugar Cookies

Ingredients:

• 1/3 cup unsalted butter, softened
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1 egg (of course, we used our girls' fresh eggs!)
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 1/4 cup AP flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon sea salt

Directions:

1. Cream together butter and sugar until light and fluffy
2. Add egg and vanilla and mix together
3. Sift together dry ingredients and gently stir into your butter mixture
4. Turn out onto a floured work surface and pat into a disc. Wrap and chill for 1 hour
5. Preheat oven to 400*F
6. Roll out and cut dough into desired shapes (about 3/4 inch thickness worked best for me)
7. Place on a parchment-lined baking sheet and bake for 9-11 minutes, or until edges are just browned

For decorating: Use dyed royal icing (my ratio is 1 1/2 cup confectioner's sugar for each 1 egg white, plus a 1/4 teaspoon of water or so, mixed with your dyes) and a bit of patience for the decorating. I always remind myself that the more handmade it looks, the more love I put into it--so I never stress too much about perfection!
 

And here is an alternative for your best pal! Make these dog treats (recipe was shared here) and give them away to all your dog loving friends!

Frosted Farm Animal Crackers!

Circled big in my planner you can read "Chickens Today!" in large letters on May 9th. Since then, our schedules and upcoming vacations have revolved around their needs. We change the water four times a day and feed them just as often. Each morning I count them, twelve chicks curled in wood shavings and dirt, underneath the heat lamp. All accounted for, we haven't lost one yet.

My dad says this is a miracle. He says you always lose one or two. I believe in listening. I believe in fresh air and words of encouragement. I believe in not waking them up and letting them sleep, so I might walk back out in the morning an hour later so they aren't stressed. I believe in letting them be free, to not constrain them to a brooder, so we fenced in half a barn stall for them and they get a chance to run free. And at night, Nolan and I hold hands and walk down to the barn, cutting through the sodden grass from when the spring house overflows and the red, red glow of the heat lamp acts as a makeshift lighthouse when the rest of the world is pitch black.

It's hard to not get attached, to let my mind wander to their future and their happiness. We do the same thing with our dogs, we anthropomorphize their thoughts to fit our actions. We say they're happy so we don't feel so guilty, but how do we know? For the chickens, we keep them warm and safe. For the dogs, we hold them tight on the porch swing and think of them while we're out, picking up hamburgers or tennis balls along the way.

This is a life I couldn't have in California, the expansive life of opportunity, of homestead and hearth. Of empathy. Of nurturing. Of appreciating the fog over the hill and barn and the deer whose footprints break the soil after it rains. Every detail is here in our own world and I try to remember we're a part of it all now.

Farm Animal Crackers!

I thought of this idea a few weeks ago after agreeing to help one of Nolan's coworkers with a 4-H bake sale, so we bought these cookie cutters on Amazon and I started playing around with ideas. I loved the chicken one (of course, after seeing my little girls grow!), so thought it would be fun to just use those. I spoke with Molly when she was in Philly about this idea and she got me on a good path using powdered milk. And it worked so much better! Yas, Molly!  I also referenced Adrianna's recipe as well.

This recipe can be adapted to smaller shapes, but just be aware of baking time!

Ingredients:

• 1 3/4 cup AP flour
• 1/4 cup powdered milk
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/8 teaspoon baking soda
• 3 TB unsalted butter, softened
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 2 egg whites
• 1/4 cup whole milk, room temperature

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350*F and prepare 2 baking sheets with parchment or a Silpat
2. Sift together flour, powdered milk, salt, and baking soda in a large mixing bowl
3. In the bowl of a stand mixer with the paddle attachment, cream together butter and sugar
4. Scrape sides with a rubber spatula, add vanilla and egg whites and mix--it may look a bit lumpy, but that is okay
5. Create a well in your dry ingredients and add your sugar mixture, stir to combine
6. Finally, add milk to moisten dough
7. Roll out onto a floured work surface and knead for a few seconds until dough comes together
8. Roll out cookies to about a 1/4 inch thick and cut out your shapes. Place on baking sheets
9. Once you have cut out your shapes, place in freezer for 10 minutes to firm up (this will help with the shape being consistent when baking)
10. Remove from oven, poke a couple times with a tooth pick
11. Bake for 12-14 minutes or until edges are tanned and top is puffed slightly
12. Allow to cool before coating in white chocolate (directions below)

To Decorate: Melt or temper 20 ounces of white chocolate. When cookies are cooled, dip one in and coat both sides using two forks so as not to smudge the chocolate with your hands. Transfer to a cooling rack, decorate with some sprinkles, and allow to dry. Repeat with half of the cookies. With remaining cookies and chocolate, dye pink using a quality red food dye. Coat remaining cookies with same method. 

Madeleines!

I know I've been baking more French desserts lately -- but can you blame me? There's just an inherent romance, for me, when I think of French desserts. Even the simplest ones (and, let's be honest, that's all I'm producing these days) hold unique, delicate shapes and flavors and are somehow so memorable at the same time.

For me, madeleines are the original macaron. A distinct shape, a subtle flavor and a joy to make. We ate the whole lot in 2 days (the dogs occasionally got a bite, too), and always with coffee or tea. Warm and subtle and enigmatic in its own right. I would love to digress about my love of France and the poeticism of these little cakes, but I'll save that for others who have done a much better job at it than me.

So I'll leave it there, take these petits cakes for what they are--an easy, delicious classic that everyone should make at least once. The recipe I provided for this post is directly from Ruby Tandoh's book Crumb (with the addition of vanilla), which I found to be a strong, consistent batter, having made these multiple times through this week.

Honey Madeleines

For this recipe, I used a regular-sized madeleine tin, but you are more than welcome to use a muffin tin! This recipe came from Tandoh's Crumb, with the directions modified slightly.

Ingredients:

1/2 c + 1 TB unsalted butter

3/4 c AP flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/3 c sugar

2 TB honey

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Brown butter in a light-bottomed sauce pan and remove from heat. Use 2 TB of that butter to grease your pans
2. Place pan in fridge to stay cool
3. In a mixing bowl, sift together flour and baking powder
4. In a separate bowl, whisk together sugar, honey, eggs, and vanilla vigorously until foamy
5. Add egg mix to flour and stir
6. Fold in remaining browned butter until a batter forms. Allow to rest in fridge for 20 minutes
7. Preheat oven to 400*F while you are wait
8. Fill each tin about 3/4 of the way up the madeleine groove and bake for 8-9 minutes
9. Remove, re-grease and refrigerate pan, and bake off remaining batter

Modification notes: If using a muffin tin, fill only 1/3 of the way up the side of the tin and bake for around 10-12 minutes.

No Bake Cookies with Bob's Red Mill Steel Cut Oats

Last week I told you all that baking cookies was a favorite thing about being home for the holidays. My second favorite thing is eating the batter while baking a cake. And maybe the THIRD thing is using up all my ingredients before I move out at the end of the month to our farm.

Luckily, these No Bakes are a great combination of all of these joys of December! They're a super simple cookie, requiring little prep and even less skill. They're gooey and remain soft for a very long time, while also melting in your mouth. And you can basically add anything to these without messing them up (I like to think of the coconut here as "intentional experimentation").

One ingredient you will notice on here is steel cut oats. Bob's Red Mill sent me steel cut oats a while back and I have been trying to find the perfect way to use them that wasn't, well, just a bowl of oatmeal. This oatmeal is almost pellet-like, but produced a toothsome effect to the cookies that make them gooey but firm in the most delicious way.  They were a huge hit at the party I threw this weekend for my boyfriend. (okay, my brother-in-law was the only one who ate them but he liked them a lot!) I had rented out a local theater and played his favorite movie, the Parent Trap and we will be doing that again very, very soon.

Follow me on instagram (@figandbleu) for more stories of my life that don't fit on my blog!

So if you have 15 minutes and 2 hours of patience, make these! If you don't have steel cut oats or can't find them, try a specialty foods store, online at bobsredmill.com, or you can substitute that cup for regular ol' quick cooking oats.

Steel Cut Oat No Bake Cookies

Ingredients:

• 2 cup white sugar
• 1/2 cup half 'n half or heavy cream (can use whole milk, but I'm going for decadence here)
• 2 tablespoon butter
• 1 cup steel cut oats
• 1/3 cup peanut butter chips
• 1/2 cup peanut butter
• 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
• 1/2 cup shredded coconut
• 1 tablespoon vanilla
• 2 cup quick cooking oats
• 1/2 teaspoon sea salt

Directions:

1. Prepare 2 cookie sheets with parchment or wax paper
2. In a medium saucepan, whisk sugar, half 'n half, butter, and steel cut oats and heat on medium-high
3. Allow to heat, stirring occasionally, and simmer until butter is melted and edges of the mixture are frothy
4. Remove from heat and stir in remaining ingredients with a wooden spoon
5. Allow to sit for 3 minutes to congeal a bit
6. Using a cookie scoop or spoons, drop your batter onto your prepared cookie sheets
7. Allow to rest in your fridge for at least two hours to firm up
8. Can be kept in a container for up to a week

Note: I am fortunate enough to be a Bob's Red Mill brand ambassador this year and will be partnering with them more and more throughout the year. While Bob's Red Mill supplied the ingredient, coconut flour, for this post, all opinions are my own. Check out their website for more information on all the amazing products they have to offer!